I gingerly whispered to him, “Do you want me?”

He laughed, and looked away. He told me to stop asking stupid questions

And continued to stare blankly at the walls as tiny ghosts escaped the confines of his mouth

His words cut me, and his eyes held what I perceived to be spite, or annoyance, or exasperation, or even humour, but whenever I was with him, I felt like I was being appraised by an intelligence superior to my own

Oh, and how I loved to be with him! How I loved him!

I was in thrall to him

I would do anything for him

And so, I let him let his fantasies unwind

On me

Inside me

On me

Inside me

Again, and again, and again

We explored together

Built a tabernacle for the fucked up

A shrine for the crazed

He taught me how the deranged make love

How there doesn’t even have to be love, to make love

He taught me how to experience a pleasure so intense it rushes up and down your spine, and vibrates inside your brain

I thought that we had reached the final tier of whatever the fuck this was

But he didn’t appreciate how much it took for my lips to meet his

He didn’t understand how much I cared

Or how much it hurt me

And he knew nothing of my face

But how low my head could bend