“Crowding round the bar, bands of *bois’ bois* chug their $2.50 basics and periodically erupt in their mating call – ‘Yeah the boys!!’ – seeking solace in their established masculinity.”
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Mental Illness Now Over Thanks to Petting Zoo
“It is a crisp October morning on the ANU campus, and after months of campaigning from student activists for better mental health services, our benevolent administration has decided to implement the catch-all cure for all of your ‘little moods’: a petting zoo.”
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You Are Invited To Vote In The Spherical Earth Postal Survey
“To the regret of myself and many fellow Athenians, modern society has lately been deep in both squander and quandary. Shipwrecked travellers need housing, for example, and doctors are ever undersupplied in leeches. Yet when our leaders sacrifice 122 boatloads of goats, doves and virgins, it’s to pay not for the resolution of these issues, but instead for the upcoming Hellenic Spherical Earth Postal Survey.”
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Plebiscite on Plebiscites
“We want this nation to be as democratic as possible.
So tell us, Australia – which of these other postal plebiscites should we run?”
Inner-City Mum With Home Espresso Machine Not Content Taking Young People’s Housing Dreams, Now Taking Their Minimum Wage Barista Jobs Too
“Sarah Griff, notorious mum about town, is bored of making home ownership a living nightmare for an entire generation of Australians. Recent tip-offs reveal she has a new hobby inspiring her to namaste once again: making the morning brew at minimum wage for her very own endlessly-entitled peers.”
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