my heart would
and that there would be signals like new year’s eve:
sparks and lights
as we performed a circus of high school
amid the dancing and the lights and the sparks that were flying like new year’s eve,
my heart; it stayed the same
it was like, always
and I kept looking at her the same,
kept looking at you the same.
somehow, unlike all the movies
my hair didn’t curl and my clothes didn’t fit
and you never rearranged my heart.
but I kept letting you kiss my neck and touch my breasts
because you said someday
there would be lights and sparks,
and new year’s eve would happen,
and then I’d be so sad I’d stopped you from kissing my neck and touching my breasts,
because I wouldn’t be looking at you the same.