YOU said

my heart would

 .

 ………………………………rearrange

.

and that there would be signals like new year’s eve:

sparks and lights

to show.

.

But somehow,

as we performed a circus of high school

amid the dancing and the lights and the sparks that were flying like new year’s eve,

my heart; it stayed the same

it was like, always

and I kept looking at her the same,

kept looking at you the same.

.

somehow, unlike all the movies

my hair didn’t curl and my clothes didn’t fit

and you never rearranged my heart.

but I kept letting you kiss my neck and touch my breasts

because you said someday

there would be lights and sparks,

and new year’s eve would happen,

and then I’d be so sad I’d stopped you from kissing my neck and touching my breasts,

because I wouldn’t be looking at you the same.