Memoir

Tales of a Sexless Second Year: Abstinence? A Good Thing?

The thing is, if I have sex with a guy and he doesn’t immediately fall in love with me, I’m annoyed. If I have sex with a guy and he does immediately fall in love with me, I’m annoyed. Tell me how I am meant to win here? I realised that this was because I craved the validation of guys telling me: “You’re the only one I can really open up to.” Until I registered the fact that I was only there to make them feel special and solve all their problems.

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Satire

Area Non-Binary Person Loses Their Shit

In an unprecedented and entirely unpredictable move, a local individual, [REDACTED], has officially lost their goddamn mind when it comes to cis people telling them what’s what. “Look,” they said in an exclusive interview with Bossy, “the next person who tries to tell me my pronouns aren’t grammatically correct is getting a dictionary to the jaw!”

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