Written by Laura P

CW: mention of victim-blaming rhetoric

A local Canberra woman is currently reconsidering using caps lock on the internet after a thoughtful man informed her she was being aggressive.

“I guess I just never thought about how I present myself and come across to people. I have literally never considered restraining myself and my language to appease other people, and I’m really grateful that I now realise how hostile I was being”, Ana told Chronicle.

“I mean, I thought the violent threats and random dick pics I used to get on Twitter were bad, but this whole experience has made me think about those on the other side, and how hurtful it must feel to have someone yell at you with caps lock in a comments section.”

Her newfound awareness of her antagonistic behaviour on the internet has also made her think about the other parts of her life where she previously lived without a care.

“Before, I just woke up and walked out the door in whatever I wanted to wear, I said what I wanted to say, and took up the space I wanted to take up. But now I realise how selfish and unfriendly that is.

“So now, I don’t walk outside without deliberating over my outfit for 30 minutes, just in case a man on the street thinks that my skirt is too tight. I edit my social media posts over and over before posting to make sure they’re not too forceful. I started adding an inflection to the end of my instructions, just to make sure my co-workers don’t think I’m being imposing. I also started crossing my legs and pressing myself against the window on the bus to make room for the guys that sit next to me – they certainly have a more serious need for that room, just think about that leg span!”

Reports indicate that Ana’s co-workers are pleased with these changes in her manner.

Derek, Ana’s assistant, told Chronicle: “She always used to be like ‘Have this done by close of business tomorrow’, which was just so militant and rude. Now, she says ‘Do you think you would be able to get this done by tomorrow night, no rush if you’re busy with other things though’ which is honestly so much friendlier. I like her a lot more now.”

Ana told Chronicle that she enjoys her new outlook on life and is indebted to the compassionate man who drew attention to her flaws.

“I’ll forever be thankful for Alan’s comment. Or was it Greg? Or Andrew?

“I just never would have thought about what people think of my appearance and demeanour without him. Life is so much easier now that I care more. I am honestly surprised more women haven’t been living like this for centuries.”