In a world first, Greenpeace has pledged to thank Instagram influencers for their rapid reversal of global pollution.
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Just In: Greenpeace to Thank Self-Proclaimed Instagram Influencers For Reversing Pollution By Way of Re-Usable Straws
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Area Non-Binary Person Loses Their Shit
In an unprecedented and entirely unpredictable move, a local individual, [REDACTED], has officially lost their goddamn mind when it comes to cis people telling them what’s what. “Look,” they said in an exclusive interview with Bossy, “the next person who tries to tell me my pronouns aren’t grammatically correct is getting a dictionary to the jaw!”
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Queer* Dating Made Easy: The Hottest New Dating Spots Where You Can Actually Hold Hands Without Getting Stared At
Oh, my, my, my! There has never been a better time for queer* couples in our nation’s capital looking for romantic date spots. From the whole of Braddon to selective parts of Civic, Fyshwick and greater Canberra, queer* couples everywhere can now comfortably take their pick of almost all of Canberra’s favourite rendezvous hotspots.
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A Convenient Time For a Mental Breakdown
On the 23rd of March, Stacy committed a cardinal sin and missed a friends 21st and now has been banished to the Highlands. I sat down with Stacy to set the record straight.
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A Guide to ANU Crushes – Otherwise Known As “Which ANU Crush Are YOU?”
Here lies an encyclopaedia of the classic ANU Crushes that grace our screens.
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I Am Sorry To Report
In recent weeks a strange phenomenon has swept over Canberra causing widespread trepidation amongst the local population – multiple organisations have reported a record decline in the use of ‘sorry’ amongst local women.
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The Height Is Right!: 4 Reasons You Should Date a Guy Solely For the Fact He’s the Arbitrary Height Society Deems Attractive!
Is dating getting you down? Is your choice of heeled shoes inexplicably limited by out-dated ideas of male physiological superiority? Well, have I got a solution for you – tall guys!
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Pussy Power: The Real Champions of the Feminist Movement
While some of my peers may argue that Beyoncé and Malala Yousafzi are the true faces of Fourth Wave Feminism, I’d argue that, actually, the true champions of today’s feminist movement are the viral cats of the internet.
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Bisexual Woman Called to Formally Renounce Queerness After Accidentally Hooking Up With Too Many Boys
The ANU Straight Department (ANUSD) gave notice of a Special General Meeting yesterday, where they intend to pass a motion requiring a queer student to renounce her bisexuality. This was prompted by recent findings that the student’s first semester Thursday night hook-up ratio was 60:40, in favour of men.
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Local Student Kate Hailed ‘Really Nice Girl’
“After consultation with numerous* students at ANU it has been concluded that Kate, who listens to her female friends talk for long periods of time and sometimes looks after them when they’re drunk, is a really stand-up girl.”