Alright, alright! Fine! I will answer your inane questions so long as you stop dropping stone tablets on my head! Do you people think I chose to keep living in a barrel because I like being bothered? Honestly, to think a shade cannot find a moment’s peace even in the afterlife.
Category: Satire
Expiredia
“Just as T. S. Eliot described, ‘this is the dead land, this is the cactus land’, and I’d like to leave now please.”
A Five-Step Guide on How to Vote
By following these five simple steps you will be extremely well-equipped to vote in the upcoming election.
Father of Newborn Daughter Handed Get-Out-of-Sexism-Free Card
We all know that men seem to just have *the audacity*: a quality apparently inherent to the fabric of the straight-white-male biology.
Plants are the New Children
Today’s young adults, rather than having children, are focusing their nurturing energies on raising plants, specifically indoor plants. Previously, young people have treated their pets as children, however a trend of referring to themselves as ‘plant parents’ is emerging. These drawings poke fun at this concept, imagining plants in the role of children, specifically babies, both inside and outside the home.
Just In: Greenpeace to Thank Self-Proclaimed Instagram Influencers for Reversing Pollution by Way of Re-Usable Straws
In a world first, Greenpeace has pledged to thank Instagram influencers for their rapid reversal of global pollution.
Area Non-Binary Person Loses Their Shit
In an unprecedented and entirely unpredictable move, a local individual, [REDACTED], has officially lost their goddamn mind when it comes to cis people telling them what’s what. “Look,” they said in an exclusive interview with Bossy, “the next person who tries to tell me my pronouns aren’t grammatically correct is getting a dictionary to the jaw!”
Queer* Dating Made Easy: The Hottest New Dating Spots Where You Can Actually Hold Hands Without Getting Stared At
Oh, my, my, my! There has never been a better time for queer* couples in our nation’s capital looking for romantic date spots. From the whole of Braddon to selective parts of Civic, Fyshwick and greater Canberra, queer* couples everywhere can now comfortably take their pick of almost all of Canberra’s favourite rendezvous hotspots.
A Convenient Time for a Mental Breakdown
On the 23rd of March, Stacy committed a cardinal sin and missed a friends 21st and now has been banished to the Highlands. I sat down with Stacy to set the record straight.
A Guide to ANU Crushes – Otherwise Known as “Which ANU Crush Are YOU?”
Here lies an encyclopaedia of the classic ANU Crushes that grace our screens.