Written by Lucy Sorensen
Graphics by Abreshmi Chowdhury
The day is hastily arriving! It’s almost time to cast your vote in the upcoming federal election. Whether this is your first time or tenth, casting your vote can be a very nerve-wracking experience. Pressure will amount because apparently, every vote actually matters? So, we should probably make a good, well-informed decision. Screw the Condorcet jury theorem, the future of this nation is in our hands! I know you are scared, confused, and may have a few doubts… which is why I’m here to help! By following these five simple steps you will be extremely well-equipped to vote in the upcoming election. “But Lucy, what if I know absolutely nothing about any current political affairs?” Fear not! Neither do I, nor does anyone else!
1. Give your old folks a ring
After all, you are related. These people raised you! How different can your political opinions really be? Yeah, your dad might come out with a few dodgy statements now and again, and maybe your mum watches a little too much Sky News, but listen: they have done this countless times. They know what they are doing! It’s not their first rodeo.
2. Go stalk your fav influencer
Social media has become an increasingly political place. Recently, it appears that almost every influencer has become extremely well-informed on the political and economic state of the world. Not a day goes by that I fail to see an aesthetically patterned pastel infographic discussing a pressing current affair on an influencer’s Insta story. You trust them to make a super tasty wellness bowl; why not also trust their political beliefs? Is there anything the modern-day influencer can’t handle?
3. Play hot or not: election edition
Have a game of hot or not with the contestants… I mean candidates! How cute are their fits? Do you think you would be friends with this person IRL? How compatible are your star signs? Do their lifestyles align with yours? You should vote for someone who seems like they would totally match “your vibe”.
4. Go and ask people on the street
Just a simple, “Hey, who are you voting for?” will do. This will help to widen your scope, as you will hear many new and diverse opinions. There’s nothing people like doing more than sharing their political beliefs with total strangers!
5. Learn Reiki
Worst comes to worst, perform Reiki on the ballot. Close your eyes, count to ten, wave your hand over the ballot and soak up all the energy. If the energy is right, the energy is right.
By now you should have decided who to vote for in the upcoming federal election! If in doubt, just remember to assess the general vibe of the candidates—then you really can’t go wrong…