Take one sip when:

• The word “connection” is used
• Someone says something completely hypocritical
• Osher is wearing a (*completely horrible*) Hawaiian shirt
• Jared goes red(der)
• Someone takes someone away for a “talk“
• You cringe (you’re gonna be pretty drunk at the end of this)
• You have the urge to say a sassy comment back to the television
• Anytime you have an existential realisation that you are wasting way too much time and emotion on these people

Drink twice when:

• Someone turns away from the camera
• A secret is discussed (like it won’t get out on national television)
• An argument breaks out
• You go “awwww” then semi-hate yourself for actually getting invested (unless its Sam and Tara — that’s allowed)
• You ‘accidentally’ find yourself checking out one of the contestants (***Jake****)
• You sneakily check a contestant’s social media profile during the breaks

Finish whatever is in your cup when:

• The bartender says a sassy comment (and you wish he was your best friend)
• This completely predictable show genuinely surprises you
• When you see part of yourself in one of the contestants (help!)