Satire

Bachelor in Paradise Finale Drinking Game

 

Take one sip when:

  • The word “connection” is used
  • Someone says something completely hypocritical
  • Osher is wearing a (*completely horrible*) Hawaiian shirt
  • Jared goes red(der)
  • Someone takes someone away for a “talk
  • You cringe (you’re gonna be pretty drunk at the end of this)
  • You have the urge to say a sassy comment back to the television
  • Anytime you have an existential realisation that you are wasting way too much time and emotion on these people

Drink twice when:

  • Someone turns away from the camera
  • A secret is discussed (like it won’t get out on national television)
  • An argument breaks out
  • You go “awwww” then semi-hate yourself for actually getting invested (unless its Sam and Tara — that’s allowed)
  • You ‘accidentally’ find yourself checking out one of the contestants (***Jake****)
  • You sneakily check a contestant’s social media profile during the breaks

Finish whatever is in your cup when:

  • The bartender says a sassy comment (and you wish he was your best friend)
  • This completely predictable show genuinely surprises you
  • When you see part of yourself in one of the contestants (help!)