Take one sip when:
- The word “connection” is used
- Someone says something completely hypocritical
- Osher is wearing a (*completely horrible*) Hawaiian shirt
- Jared goes red(der)
- Someone takes someone away for a “talk“
- You cringe (you’re gonna be pretty drunk at the end of this)
- You have the urge to say a sassy comment back to the television
- Anytime you have an existential realisation that you are wasting way too much time and emotion on these people
Drink twice when:
- Someone turns away from the camera
- A secret is discussed (like it won’t get out on national television)
- An argument breaks out
- You go “awwww” then semi-hate yourself for actually getting invested (unless its Sam and Tara — that’s allowed)
- You ‘accidentally’ find yourself checking out one of the contestants (***Jake****)
- You sneakily check a contestant’s social media profile during the breaks
Finish whatever is in your cup when:
- The bartender says a sassy comment (and you wish he was your best friend)
- This completely predictable show genuinely surprises you
- When you see part of yourself in one of the contestants (help!)