CW: abuse, sexual abuse, sexual assault
[one_half]I feel you in me.
My insides do not twist
like they did when
I felt him,
forceful and
insistent on robbing
my virginity.
He masturbated
with my body.
I remember
how I wished to
become a corpse.
I wonder,
would he have noticed?
Would it have mattered
had I not been
thin and tall, or
sexualised from puberty?
Had I not been wearing
my favourite perfume?
Had I cried “No”
a few more times,
or maybe louder
had he not been choking me?[/one_half]
[one_half]I feel you in me.
The drifting scent of my perfume
nauseates me
but
I dare to let my gaze wander.
Thankfully,
I find you
smiling
with eyes full of worry,
trying to find me,
lost
in shattered memories.
Your lips
taste familiar.
Your tongue dances
as it meets an old friend.
Hello, you
feel good.
I am
happy
that it is you
caressing
me.[/one_half]