YOUR GOVERNMENT & YOU: A Handy Guide to Developing Your Very Own Government

Hello, and welcome to the Government Startup Wizard. This article will guide you through establishing, building and ultimately collapsing your executive system. First, select your government:

  • AUTOCRACY
  • DEMOCRACY
  • OLIGARCHY
  • CHOOSE LATER

You have selected DEMOCRACY. Unfortunately, DEMOCRACY is unavailable due to increased demand. Would you like to select again?

  • AUTOCRACY
  • DEMOCRACY
  • OLIGARCHY
  • CHOOSE LATER

You have selected CHOOSE LATER. Selecting CHOOSE LATER may lead to later instability, revolution and upheaval of society.

Proceed with [BLANK] government?

YES | NO

 

Step 1: Setting Up Your Government’s Economy

A government is established for many reasons, but one important basis is to control and manage a society’s economy. For your government to run effectively, you must choose a form of economy on which to base your [BLANK] government. Please select a type of ownership:

  • PRIVATE OWNERSHIP
  • PUBLIC OWNERSHIP

You have selected PRIVATE OWNERSHIP. PRIVATE OWNERSHIP entitles you to the CAPITALISM subroutine. Learn more about the CAPITALISM subroutine?

YES | NO

CAPITALISM is defined as an economic system in which a society’s trade and industry are controlled by the government for profit. Examples of CAPITALISM include: the United States of America, United Kingdom, New Zealand and Australia. In these countries, the average GDP per capita is higher than the global average; while your nation is perceived as prosperous, many people will become trapped in a poverty cycle, which goes on and on and on and on and —

Are you sure you want to activate CAPITALISM? Warning: this will disadvantage the vulnerable in your society.

YES | NO

You have selected CAPITALISM.

 

Step 2: Your Government’s Legislative System

The legislative system is the part of your government that is responsible for establishing and enacting laws that govern your society. Synonyms for legislature include parliament, congress, assembly, and the thing your citizens blame when things go wrong in their personal lives. With time, you might need to alter the laws your legislative system puts in place — please refer to CASE STUDY: SAME-SEX MARRIAGE for further examples.

Because you have purchased the COMMONWEALTH model, the base code for your government’s parliament is the BRITISH WESTMINSTER SYSTEM. In this system, the Monarch is represented by a Governor-General. This Governor-General confers with the Monarch on matters regarding your government and can, at any time, dismiss your head of state. This may or may not be considered a dick move.

The PRESIDENTIAL SYSTEM is not compatible with this model. To activate PRESIDENTIAL SYSTEM you must have the REPUBLIC application. The REPUBLIC application can be purchased at the App Store.

Would you like to personalise your legislative system within the WESTMINSTER SYSTEM?

YES | NO

You have selected to remain with the standard WESTMINSTER SYSTEM. God save the Queen.

Alert: you have one (1) instability virus detected in your government. Please refer to troubleshooting to continue.

 

Troubleshooting

Below are a few common problems that occur within governments. If you encounter a problem not addressed here, please call our hotline at [REDACTED].

Problem: government has a corrupted member.

This is normal. There is no need for concern.

Problem: government has sprung a leak and government is under investigation by global authorities.

Point the finger at Russia. It’s usually Russia’s fault.

Problem: citizens are rioting in the streets.

Go to SETTINGS. Select the CITIZEN UNREST folder. Select SMEAR CAMPAIGN and follow the prompts.

Problem: SMEAR CAMPAIGN failed. Citizens are b̞͕̜̜é̗̳͍̳ͅc̫̠̯̪̦̹o̡̲̩̱̲m̞̙̣̩̤̦͝ͅi̢̻̲̥͈̩̼n͎͔̮̻̕g͏̫̺ ̜͎͍̣̮r͏͍͚͙e̸s̞̭̰̠͉̠̪͜t̜͠l̢͖̹̤͉̪̱eͅs͇̹ś̟͇̘̥̣͉ͅ.̳̼̰̤̼G̯̜̞͇̉͂̾ͫͦͅͅő̤̻̆̋ͭ͆v͙͇͈̲̟͔̘ẽ͕͓̝̜͉͉͚r̂͏̤̼̜͉n̳̳͖͔͈̟ͥ̽͌̆ͣ̊m̨̯̹̳̫͉̃ͬ͂ͪ̏ͯ̉e̙̝̤̞̙̓̍́̚nͭ͌́͏ṫ͕̥̘̗͈ͦ̈͋͛͂ͫ ̏͆͑͐ì͙͖͊͛̔ͣ̋̾s̳̞̳̖̗͡ ̉̑̋̿ͦć̬͇͖ͧ̽̃o̲̤͔ͦ̆̍͌̿̽̓l̲͕͈̖̭̝̬ͬ̉̈̉̊ͤl͕͖͈̹͎̥̤̅̌͋̐͋͌̅͜a̳̥͚̙̱̯͖̍ͮ̀́͡p͔̼͚̦̘ͅs̙ͦ̂͂̿͊ͭ̄i͍̖͎̳̋̿͘n̷̲ͅg.

 

WARNING: GOVERNMENT.EXE HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO RESTART. PLEASE SHUT DOWN YOUR GOVERNMENT AND TRY AGAIN IN THREE (3) TO FIVE (5) WORKING DAYS.

SHUT DOWN?

YES | NO