Bisexual Woman Called to Formally Renounce Queerness After Accidentally Hooking Up with Too Many Boys

Graphic by Imogen Clarke

The ANU Straight Department (ANUSD) gave notice of a Special General Meeting yesterday, where they intend to pass a motion requiring a queer student to renounce her bisexuality. This was prompted by recent findings that the student’s first semester Thursday night hook-up ratio was 60:40, in favour of men.

Wishing to remain anonymous, the error meant that she had hooked up with 14 men and 12 women across Thursday and Friday nights that semester – a ratio considered to generally preclude someone from falling under the Queer* umbrella by the straight community. The accused’s actions stand in clear contravention of the 50/50 rule implemented by the Straight Department at ANU, which emerged late last year in response to the influence of the Queer* community on campus.

Smith, a representative of the Straight Department, has previously explained that the measures were “necessary to ensure the integrity of the queer community and to prevent ‘fake’ queer students from exploiting the student council’s resources.” The ratio for bisexual students was added to the department’s constitution after an article in The Daily Mail circulated earlier this year, alleging that women who identify as bisexual for less than three decades are usually just going through a ‘phase.’ In justifying the decision, Smith also made reference to the lyrics of Rita Ora’s Girls, ‘I ain’t one-sided, I’m open-minded, I’m fifty-fifty and I’m never gonna hide it.’

The controversial ratio has received considerable support from both the straight and the queer department. Allie Carr, another member of the straight department explained to Bossy, “I do understand why many women identify as bisexual. I once kissed a girl in a club for a funny Instagram, like, on her birthday. But based on my lived experience, to claim that bisexuals oppressed based on their sexuality is simply untrue. When I kissed Jen, all these men surrounded us and took photos. It was a really supportive environment.”

Wright, a member of the Queer Department has stated that whilst he doesn’t believe bisexuals do not face some oppression, “half-queers naturally only face half the oppression of us full queers, and that needs to be taken into account.”

The meeting is scheduled to take place in the coming week and Smith has informed us that all ANU Students, regardless of their sexuality are welcome to attend. However bisexual students’ votes will only count as a half-vote for ‘obvious reasons.’ Other items on the agenda include allocating genders to the new buildings in Kambri Court.

Meanwhile, the accused has told Bossy that she is currently contemplating whether she will be purchasing clothing from Gorman to contest the motion and ‘prove’ her queerness, or to accept her friends’ advice and just “choose one or the other.” The 21-year-old also plans on bringing along her Learners drivers licence to support her claims.