Written By Rasa Kabaila
Illustration by Suhani Kapadia
In political science, they call it the Overton window — the range of views acceptable to the mainstream population at a given time — so what is Australia’s Overton window for gender violence?
What is “acceptable” for harassment, psychological abuse, and violence, in our society?
Stalking, intimidation, and personal threats are such an everyday occurrence in our society, that reports rarely raise a shrug, and deaths related to it, are invariably a one news-cycle story.
The 2021–22 personal safety survey (PSS) from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, for instance, found that 2.7 million people aged 18 and over, had experienced stalking since the age of 15. One in five (20 per cent or two million) women, and more than one in 15 (6.8 per cent or 653,000) men have experienced stalking since the age of 15 . The latest available data for reporting on relationship to the perpetrator is from the 2016 PSS. The 2016 PSS found that, for women who had experienced stalking since the age of 15, the most recent stalking episode by a male was perpetrated by a known person in three out of four cases.
As a child, I was sexually assaulted by someone I knew, though I never felt I had the strength or energy to be able to take the matter to court. When I moved to NSW about four years ago, I was informed about the high statistics around protection orders and, just as importantly, breaches of protection orders in my area. I never imagined I would be someone who would join that cohort, but when I was stalked and threatened in 2024, I didn’t feel I had a choice.
I knew it wouldn’t be an easy process to undertake, but never imagined it would be as difficult as it was, nor how invalidated and unsupported I would be through that process. In my case, it took me two months to be able to get a Protection Order, and that wasn’t without a fight. The biggest issues I faced were in regard to a general lack of responsibility and accountability in the government systems that are in place to ensure the safety of the community and the authorities’ concept of breaching confidentiality of the perpetrator. There are obvious holes in the system, and ways to address these.
My own experience involved a perpetrator in the community where the threats gradually escalated in nature and frequency. Eventually, the perpetrator entered a hospital in northern NSW and was eventually detained and transported to another facility for psychiatric assessment. However, he was never properly assessed, and, almost immediately, was released back into the community.
The hospital informed me of the threats he had continued to make against me, which I was both shocked to hear about and yet grateful to be told of. The hospital later said that they had contacted the police but that the officers refused to make a record of what happened, with the hospital also, not documenting the call. My partner then contacted the police himself, discussing his concerns which were, again, not documented. As a result, when I had called the police to make the report, they apparently knew nothing of the situation. Then when police approached the hospital to ask for witness statements, the hospital staff said that they would not do it because it breached patient confidentiality.
I know, as a health professional, that we need to breach confidentiality when significant safety concerns are raised about that person hurting themselves or someone else. This was the catalyst for me then having to apply for a protection order on my own, which I found out later meant that I would have to attend court (numerous times over a series of months).
If the police had documented the information that the hospital had given them, they would have had enough evidence to apply for a protection order on my behalf, in which I wouldn’t have to have gone to court.
On that note, no one tells you what is involved in going to court, how to prepare, what you need to say or what any of the jargon means. Whenever you ask a question, you are usually deferred to go and consult with a lawyer, as though each of us have a personal lawyer on hand. I needed a guidebook for all of this. I was blown away at how complicated a system court is.
I also found out that you can’t apply for a protection order unless you have the address of the person who is harassing you. So, I paid to apply for this through freedom of information via police, in which they told me the only thing they could do was call the perpetrator and let him know that I was asking for his address, and the perpetrator had the choice of whether or not they wanted to give that information. I was informed that I could hire my own private investigator, and instead I became my own.
I gathered the information I needed but then when I went to court, I was told that the perpetrator had not been served the papers for the court hearing and therefore the court date was adjourned (which seemed strange given that I could see on the court register that the perpetrator was facing charges by police the following week). The second court hearing date arrived in which I’d learned by this point that every single case is asked to come to court first thing in the morning, but you might need to wait all day to be called. My case was luckily called immediately, but as the perpetrator was nowhere to be seen, the magistrate asked that we give him until 11am to show up and I was essentially advised to ‘keep an eye out for him outside’.
All up, it took me two months to get the protection order and multiple days missed from work as a sole provider in my practice, while the advice from police given to me in the meantime was “if he turns up at your house, call 000”. I wrote to the police minister and in the meantime, I escalated complaints to the police and hospital about how the situation had been handled.
The head of complaints for police admitted that police made the wrong calls in not recording the threats that were made at the time and then later also ignoring the call of concern by my partner. I was told by the head of complaints of police that they would follow up these concerns with the police who were on that day but that he would send me a letter stating that my complaint was rejected, even though it was not.
I applied for freedom of information through the hospital and police to obtain the record of the threats and stalking paper. The hospital denied this on the grounds of breach of confidentiality and the police gave me a police report with every important piece of information redacted, so it was redundant.
I begged the hospital to please put something in writing, de-identified to show what happened and eventually, they did. All I wanted was something in writing demonstrating what happened in case the perpetrator contested the protection order.
I will say that I had one particular policeman and one administrative leader at the hospital who were professional while trying to support me. And for these people I am grateful. You just need one person who will advocate for you in situations such as this. I appreciate that everyone needs a fair trial, but I can’t help but be left thinking with a situation such as this that often perpetrators are better supported and protected than the victim.
I believe that more education and clear protocols need to be put in place about when confidentiality must be breached, especially in regard to having safety measures enforced for people affected by violence, as well as the general community. We need to treat every case involving threats of violence seriously and be conservative with risk. It’s clear that hospital professionals and police are thin on the ground and are often burnt out, so more government funding should be put in place to mitigate this issue.
The Australian Human Rights Commission states that, we all have a right to feel safe and respected. Australia is one of the most privileged countries in the world. If basic human rights are not being met, we need to do better.
I can’t imagine going through what I did with less privileges than what I have such as education, a support network and a profession that enables me to be able to navigate processes like this with a little more ease. I did what I could to advocate for myself and the community by taking these issues to local ministers, escalating complaints to government departments, voicing my concerns in court and writing this article. However, it all placed a significant burden on me.
The experience also re-affirmed my decision not to take things matters to court regarding the sexual assault I experienced in the past. I hope that now, writing this article can echo the concerns and pain experienced by others affected violence who have felt silenced like I did. With equal importance, my aim of sharing this story is to highlight the importance that as a community we should not stand for this. And if government agencies refuse to listen to me once this is shared publicly, at the very least I can use my lived experience to support others who are facing a situation like mine, or much worse.
Leave a Reply